Choosing You

About a month ago, I had an interaction with a friend that turned awkward fast with the potential to not end well.  A thoughtless comment was made and I easily could've taken it personally.  In that little moment I made two important choices.  First, without being mean or hurtful, I made it clear that I wasn't willing to be a part of whatever this was.  (I think that may be called a healthy boundary but I struggle with those so I could be wrong.)  And the second choice I made was to push myself past the comment and continue the conversation.  At the time those seemed like compassionate choices which on the surface were seemingly made to the benefit of my friend.  What I didn't realize was those choices were also a benefit to me.

During a recent trip home, I found myself involved in a situation that was a mixture of stubbornness, hurt pride and doing the right thing.  As I stood in a corn patch trying to make my case for doing the right thing, I remembered the above scenario and realized the person I was trying to reason with was not in a place to make a compassionate choice.  Hurt pride is a lot to overcome.  And so after saying what I felt needed to be said, I gave the stubborn person a hug and said I care about you no matter what you decide and took myself out of the situation. 

The thing about making a compassionate choice regarding a fellow human being is that you are also choosing yourself.  It is so hard not to take stuff personally, I mean let's be real.  And it is even harder to draw those healthy boundaries where you have to make it clear to someone that you care about them and you are there for them but you are NOT in whatever this is with them.  That's choosing you.  It's taking a step forward instead of taking a step back and getting caught in someone else's hang ups.

Although I couldn't exactly see it that day with my friend, I have been offered the clarity since.  Choosing compassion is choosing you.  It is expanding yourself instead of shrinking down.  It is offering love and kindness to humankind.  And I believe that benefits everyone.